Some Humor

Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? 
      - It had no guts...
How do witches keep their hair in place while flying? 
      - With scare spray...
What did Dracula say when he kissed his vampire girlfriend? 
      - Ouch...
How do monsters tell their future? 
      - They read their horrorscope...
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire? 
      - A fur coat that fangs around your neck...
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? 
      - No, they eat the fingers separately...
Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town? 
      - Because they don't have any body to go out with...
What do ghosts add to their morning cereal? 
      - Booberries...
What do zombies like to eat at a cook out?
      - Halloweenies...
What is a vampire's favorite sport?
      - Casketball...
What is a vampire's favorite holiday?
      - Fangsgiving...
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
      - Frostbite...
What does a ghost get when he falls and scrapes his knee?
      - A boo boo...
Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
      - Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...
What is Dracula's favorite kind of coffee?
      - Decoffinated...
What would a monster's psychiatrist be called?
      - Shrinkenstein...
What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
      - "Do you believe in people?"
What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?        - A cereal killer...
Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
      - They're too wrapped up in themselves...
What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
      - Dead ends...
What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
      - Fasten your sheet belts...
What do ghouls eat for breakfast?
      - Ghost toasties with evaporated milk.
What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation?
      - A blood vessel...
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
      - A stake sandwich...
What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
      - A trombone...
What do birds give out on Halloween night?
      - Tweets...
What's a vampire's favorite fast food?
      - A guy with very high blood pressure...
Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
      - He heard it had great circulation...
Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school?
      - He was buttering up his teacher...
What do you get when you goose a ghost?
      - A handful of sheet... (Thanks to Annette)
What kind of car does a ghost drive?
      - A Boo-ick...
What did the mother ghost say to her son?
      - Don't spook unless you are spooken to... 
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
      - Sham-boo...
What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
      - Boojeans... (Thanks to Amanda)
Why wasn't the vampire working?
      - He was on a coffinbreak...
What do skeletons say before eating?
      - Bone Appétit... 
Where do fasionable ghosts shop for sheets?
      - At bootiques...
What ride do spirits like best at the amusement park?
      - The roller ghoster...
What fairy tale do ghosts like best?
      - Sleeping booty...
What kind of spirits serve food on a plane?
      - Airline ghostesses...
What kinds of ghosts haunt skyscrapers?
      - High spirits...
How do you make a witch scratch?
      - Just take away the W...
Where do ghosts go swimming?
      - The dead sea...
Did you hear about the new Dracula doll?
      - Wind it up and it bites Barbie on the neck...
What did the t.v. news reporter say to the ghost?
      - Everyone dead! Boos at 11...
What is a vampire's favorite ice cream flavor?
      - Veinilla...
What did the three vampires order at the bar?
      - Two bloods and a blood light... 
What do you give a vampire with a cold?
      - Coffindrops...
What do you use to mend a jack-o-lantern?
      - A pumpkin patch...
What kind of shoes do ghosts from Texas wear?
      - Boots...
Why isn't Dracula invited to many Halloween parties?
      - Because he's a pain in the neck.. (Thanks to Frances)
Who is a skeleton's favorite emperor?
      - Napoleon Boneaparte...
Why did the vampires cancel their baseball game?
      - They couldn't find their bats...
Which monster likes to fly kites in the rain?
      - Benjamin Franklinstein... 
What did the mummy say to the detective?
      - Let's wrap this case up...
Why was the witch kicked out of witching school?
      - Because she flunked spelling... 
When a witch lands after flying, where does she park?
      - The broom closet... 
How do you tell twin witches apart?
      - You can't tell which which is which...
What do you call a dead chicken that likes to scare people?
      - A Poultrygeist...

     Thanks Sherrill